I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize