well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
