Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
