And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
