that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
