she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
