i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
