The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
