Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize