You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
