Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
