i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
