So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
