I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
