She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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