new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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