He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
this boner is exhausting
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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