About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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