That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
