im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
