Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
