she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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