I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
even my farts smell like vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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