we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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