He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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