I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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