Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
