i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize