wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Duck Duck Cougar?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
