i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
