I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
