you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
