I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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