That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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