I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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