This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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