I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
