The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
