If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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