***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
time to smoke my breakfast
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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