This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
