I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
