he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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