i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
