We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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