Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
