And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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