Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No subtext here. People are naked.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
