Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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