Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think i have two assholes
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize