as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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