Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
