We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize