I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
