If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't turn off my feet"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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