I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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