bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
