Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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