Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even my farts smell like vagina
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
