Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
