dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize