i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
