Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
