Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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