Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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