I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I could fuck to npr.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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