I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
