you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
