were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
