wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
