I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize