Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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