Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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