Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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