kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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