and you said cock pushups were impossible
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
