yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
