Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
